Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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