he shaved USA in his pubs
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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