So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize