whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
