i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
