I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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