I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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