ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My feet surprised me
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
