yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
