I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
be right there i have to get my cape
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
