Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Don't make out with my wife yet
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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