lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
