I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
