Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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