i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
