She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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