weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
