I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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