my vag is so smooth its legendary
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
