omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need a beard to bite.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize