just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize