Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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