i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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