I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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