I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
