oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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