Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
