I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
