is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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