I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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