Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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