talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
