This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
