It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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