bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
