My nipple is on Facebook.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
