If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
