girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
