She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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