i don't like sucking hair
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
