I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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