We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
