Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
