Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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