At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm at about main and main street
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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