HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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