pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When are your genitals available?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
