i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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