Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
