I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
