She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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