Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
