Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
