i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
