i think my mom watched the whole time
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
