i barfeds in our rink
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
