This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
