It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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