dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
